In the latest episode on the GraceStory Podcast, Sue Bowles a Certified Life and Mental Health Coach, shared what fighting for hope means to her. She included a heartbreaking story of how she had to fight for hope during her parents’ divorce. From this experience, she learned that hope is “daring to believe when everything humanly and intellectually is telling you otherwise.” In other words, it’s daring to hold God to his word until he shows up.
As I listened to Sue explain hope this way, I was taken back to my experience of fighting for hope. In July of 2014, my 22-year-old son died unexpectedly. There were days I struggled to breathe and doubted if I had what it took to make it through. But, step-by-step, day-by-day, I clung to hope; that’s how I moved forward.
Sue goes on to share one of the best pieces of advice she has received from a friend, “When you don’t know what else to do, watch your steps as you take each one forward.” I can relate to that. Sometimes, that's all I could do. Early in my grief, I tried to work through the pain of losing my son on my own, but this didn’t get me far. When I worked up the courage to share my struggles with one or two trusted people, I made room for God to show up and walk alongside me in healing.
God showed up in my family’s life through multiple church and workplace families. Hundreds of people prayed us through the darkest time of our lives and gave us the support we needed. To me, fighting for hope meant allowing our community to hold hope on our behalf. The love we received from our community carried me through some of my most difficult days—and it even helps me now, 10 years later, as there are still times when the waves of grief threaten to overtake me.
To me, fighting for hope meant allowing our community to hold hope on our behalf. -Amy DeBerg
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A practical tool Sue shared is Building a “Fighting for Hope Toolbox” that we can access when our hope feels weak. Here’s what I’ve put in mine:
Where I’ve seen hope in the past: Through sharing my struggles with a trusted friend.
Where I expect God to show up: I declared that God would use my experience to help others because I surrendered it to him.
How this applies to my current situation: I have used what I’ve learned through my loss to comfort others in their moments of grief. I’m writing a book to continue my healing and help others through their healing journey.
Acknowledge my emotions: My heart hurts from the absence of my son. I’m mad about what I’m missing out on with him.
What am I grateful for: I am grateful for the 22 years I had with my son and the community God placed around me.
Prompt: Build your own “Fighting for Hope Toolbox” by integrating hope-building strategies into your life. Ask yourself the questions below and journal about the steps Sue shared in the podcast:
Identify where you’ve seen hope in the past. What’s helped in the past?
Where have you told God you’re expecting him to show up?
How can that experience apply to your current situation?
Build on your current situation. Since anxiety and gratitude cannot coexist, acknowledge your emotions before God, speak the truth, and write statements of gratitude.
Remember, you matter, and so do your emotions.
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